:: let there be… a mission ::

Something must have clicked, because before I doozed off to sleep, I was allowing myself to make mental pictures of my ideal at home situation – mainly focusing on the kids. I decided to make a list (don’t you love lists) with the things that in my opinion would help make this place a cosy nest, glowing with warmth and solid connections. I focused mainly on what I could do and provide, and tried to incorporate things that are already happening.

Let there always be something homebaked to nibble on

Okay, I admit, that is really my perfectionist side coming through. Let me defend myself: I love cooking. I’ve never really had a thing for baking though, because I’m not that much of a sweet tooth. Enter my kids. Especially when they come home from school and they are hungry. Even with full lunchboxes and snacks they always seem on the edge of starvation the second they run through the front door at 3.30 pm. So I provide snacks. Fruit and a cookie or something similar. And I want that cookie to be homebaked for some reason. It just seems the perfect way to show some love. And they can help me bake in the weekends or on afternoons. And I’ll up my baking game. Nothing but wins here.

Let there always be something to read by someone who wants to read it

That’s a biggie and we are already good at it. My youngest quite often asks me to read alout, totally neglecting the screen. And now that my boy starts to read by himself, he does his own bedtime story just before I tell hem a chapter from a chapter book. But I would love to have more reading time during the day, especially for my son.
I try to model reading as often as I can (doesn’t cost me much of an effort). When you ask my son what his mother likes to do, he’ll answer without hesitation: read books. In peace. There would be a lot more peace in the world if everyone just read instead of bickering.

Let there be games for all of us to play

Game night. I know quite some families who rock the concept. Not ours. Personally, I never really cared about games. But my children like it. The thing is: they can learn a lot from games. Biggest challenge: accepting bad luck or not winning. We have a lot of small games to play, but I have the feeling my 6 year old will be ready soon for some more extended board games. If you know some good board games, especially those that don’t focus on playing against each other, I’ll happily take suggestions.

Let’s go outside

Again: something the kids won’t mind at all. For me, it’s a different story. Especially when weather is bad and you have to put on coats and boots. We have some decent places to walk here, but it already takes the same time to get there by foot. I’m always losing my puff on that part. Two weeks ago I randomly decided to take a walk in the woods and drove 15 minutes to go there. It was rather fun and we came home tired and energized at the same time. I want more of that, but it seems so counterintuitive to drive somewhere to spend time outside. See all the ‘buts’? It’s merely in my mind. I should get over it, especially during the colder months that are coming. My oldest has soccer practice and game, and a weekly youth club where they spend the afternoon outside, so he’s covered. My youngest though… she could use some fresh air!

Let’s say nice things about each other

I’ve never wanted to be a yelling mother (who does), but I have to admit that I’ve totally become one. I try not to be mean, but with my kids, I’m losing my temper rather quickly. I don’t say hurtful things but even then, yelling is not okay. Instead of focusing on stopping the yelling (which I have tried already often times), I’ll try to model the behavior I do want to see in my kids (and hopefully I’m too busy doing that and the yelling will lessen a lot). I’ll make a special effort to double the nice things I say to my kids. To aknowledge they make me happy and to point out what I appreciate in their behavior. The same goes for my husband: I want to focus on all the things I like about him (which is plenty) instead of nagging about where he got it wrong. It’s something I personally want to work on, but I hope this will spread out naturally and reinforce our natural kindness. We are kind people after all!

Hike – Moulin du Bayehon (Longfaye)

Sometimes, my husband has great ideas. Not very well thought through, sticking to a concept and waiting for me to work it out (or waiting until the very last minute because I refuse to), but great ideas anyway. Yesterday he took a day off, because he wanted to go for a hike. Weather forecast was rather ugly, he had no idea of where to go, our Little Boy has no hiking shoes, only boots (which are nice in the mud, but not very good for climbing rockes), and he decided the minute before we left, we should take a picnic. So I was rather grumpy, making sandwiches while a bouncing little kid couldn’t wait for us to pack everything.

Finally we left. We had decided on a hiking spot (I found someone who described the exact hike we did and took even better pictures), and said to each other we would walk for an hour to see how far we were and to turn if necessary. It was a 90-minute drive there, and I had estimated we would only be able to walk for two hours without Little Boy getting completely annoyed and crying and wanting us to carry him. It meant we would be in the car for longer then we were outside. Oh well. Sometimes my husband and his ideas…

The closer we got though, the more I was looking forward to it. Little Boy was extremely sweet in the car, entertaining himself with a few toys we had packed for him. Landscapes were gorgeous. Sun was shining. Traffic was smooth. It felt like we were on holiday.

Once there, the hikes were very well indicated, there were only a few people on the road and after only five minutes we got to cross al little stream, using a wooden bridge alongside the rocks. Little Boy was sold on the spot and hiked his guts out, splattering through the little streams of rain water on the path, impatiently going for the next bridge and super excited to see that after a while the road would climb and the path became rocky. Problem is, the kid always wants to go first and sometimes that was just not safe. He often tripped too, mostly because he was running or preferring to stand on the most impossible stones he could fid. We had a blast and walked for three hours.

His father was, in the meantime, getting completely warmed up to the idea of having a hot chocolate and a crepe after the hike. To his huge disappointment, all Little Boy wanted to do was  get in the car. Even the promise of chocolate wouldn’t help. Poor husband… devastated! I promised him we would all think of it as a funny story in a few years.

Actually, in my opinion, it already is.

Reflections on Sunday #8

Just before the new week starts, I like to go through the old one. Our family life in little snippets, plus some great finds from around the web. Have a great Sunday!

 

cuddling on the bed – playing inside

Last week was rather rainy and grey. It involved much time inside and while that’s appreciated once in a while, Little Boy isn’t made to spend the days between walls. Luckily there were a lot of cuddles on the bed, and he rediscovered his workman’s gear. He has been playing with it the whole week!

 

 

visiting baby elephant Qiyo (photo credit: http://www.planckendael.be/nl/kai-mook-grote-zus-0) – bubbles

Sunbeams had to be enjoyed. Even a cloudy sky was signal to go out. Our trip to the Zoo made us meet the recently born cute-as-a-button baby elephant. And in our own garden, it was trying to fight the weeds in the lawn (it’s completely useless, but I find it therapeutic) and making soap bubbles. They are this summer’s discovery and Little Boy is getting quite good at it!

 

 

I’m on instagram as @songsofhome now!

I have been playing around a little on Instagram, and created an account for my blog. Participating in prompt challenges here and there. (#fmsphotoaday is my favorite) Mainly being completely in awe of what people manage to shoot. There are some very talented people in this world!

 

 

playing around in the kitchen – redcurrant jelly and blueberry muffins

I’ve been making redcurrant jelly and blueberry muffins. More on te redcurrant jelly later, I hope to turn it into an interesting post. Of course, I always think of those things when season’s almost over, but hey, I have my jelly!

 

 

“War” was a really good read – picking up some more!

Reading around, finished a good novel (It’s in German and has been translated in Dutch, not in English. The link is to a book review in Dutch on the site of the author) and then went straight to the library to pick up some more goodness. They recently installed self-scan desks and changed there household rules. No you can take 15 materials on one card, without having to pay for any of it. You can keep those for 3 weeks (or longer, you can manage your accounts online). Penalties for being late went up, but everything else has become cheaper (read: free). I love it and I’m splurging on children’s movies and CD’s.

 

 

 

Some good reads on the web too. Being home alone often lately with Little Boy, there were three posts that particularly resonated with me.

 

• I came across this one before, but now I can totally see the point in it. Calling it ‘babysitting’ when my husband cares for Little Boy is something I have made myself guilty of right from the start (especially the first few months) and it doesn’t do justice to me nor my husband. Thinking that way creates patterns that are hard to break.  If we would decide a second child would complete our family, it’s something that I will keep in mind.

 

• Another thing I will keep in mind, is this beautiful and honest post. It’s about the comments and reactions a little girl with a severe skin condition gets. Children can be really straight-forward, and sometimes brutally rude too (albeit not always with that intention), but the way we respond to that behavior as a parent can make a whole lot of difference. I love the advice the author is giving here, and some specific examples. I know I will need them one day

 

• And as much as I love my kid, I appreciate nap times. So even if it’s not very polite to smile when someone’s having an embarrassing moment, I think it’s completely justified when she shares it with the world herself. Plus it’s a fun read. Plus it’s totally recognizable. At least I’m not feeling alone anymore. Never trust a jellyfish, but go ahead and read her stories.

 

How was your week? If you have any great finds to share, please do so in the comments. Have a nice Sunday!

 

 

 

 

2015 morning walk and family philosophy – 1/365

The New Year has come with a bit of a head ache – auch! But the weather was so beautiful – freezing cold and sunny. I think that’s called crisp – and in my opinion it’s just the perfect word for it. Anyway, a morning walk as a family. Does not happen so often, so we all enjoyed it.

project 1/365 – frozen fields

Going outside more often is one of my uncountable goals for the year to come and I start to think that’s on the list of my husband too. He has spent many days at home during the last two weeks and it felt good to be together, watch him play with his son, hearing the boy ask for his daddy. People around me are getting pregnant like mad and it’s not the first time we are asked if and when there will be a second child. I think it’s a stupid question, but I answer it all the time anyway. If there would be another child to welcome, certainly not now. We feel like we are just finding some rhythm as a family of three, I like how the bounding between all of us has finally set in and I prefer to enjoy that time a little longer before wrapping my mind around the seemingly inevitable question about possible siblings.

project 1/365 – frozen flower