The wrong question

Lately, I’m getting it a lot. The dreaded question. The one that each and every woman in has to hear in her life, probably more than once. I honestly thought I would be able to put that one behind me after my son was born. Apparently not.

clover flower pregnancy infertility

Why is it that so many people seem to be interested in what might happen in my womb? And why is it that I answer every time, reluctantly, in a vague way, only to realize later what I had wanted to say? That it’s a rude and very impolite question. That they are asking to know the most intimate discussions, dreams and plans that I share with my husband. That it is none. of. their. business. It wasn’t the first time, it isn’t this time, it won’t ever be.

The thing is: I know these questions annoy me. But I can imagine how they are hurtful in every possible way. When dreams and hopes and plans are made and nature is not cooperating. Or when they are not shared by a partner that you love more than anything in this world. It is hard enough to read Facebook announcements all the time, or to have a dinner with friends and deal with their happy news without falling apart. But then facing that inevitable question: and you… do you have great news for us? Now? Anytime soon?

Dear colleagues, friends, mother-in-law. You’re not entitled to have that information. It’s not showing interest. It’s being nosy. And not a good kind of nosy.

So please stop asking.

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Author: Elvira

Woman, wife, mother. Trying to slow down and take the time to listen.

2 thoughts on “The wrong question”

  1. we all know people like this, i guess just a kid isn’t enough for them… and then you ask yourself, how do they have loads of children if they can’t take care of them the good way? oh, well, different ways of understanding life, i guess…

    1. It’s not that much that I wouldn’t want another kid. It’s just that I don’t want to share that decision with everyone whenever they feel the urge to ask…

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