This week will be one hell of a week. Both in a good and in a busy way. Today I had a meeting with my supervisor during lunch break. In our school system, there is one supervisor per region per subject. His job is to monitor the quality of the way the subject is taught in the curriculum, and to give advice to teachers and teacher groups. So in a way he’s controlling me, but also giving me the chance to grow as a teacher, on subject level. The head of the school does the same but on school level, and not exactly on subject level (as he cannot know the ins and outs of every subject).
The reason why I had asked for this meeting is that I have taken the responsibility of the group of colleagues that teach the same subject. We are supposed to be a team and make sure there is some kind of line in what we do at school. I had the impression, and to be honest, it was more than just an impression that they asked me to put on masks and avoid anything that could mean extra work or extra visits from the supervisor. I get very tired of that attitude. How can we expect our students to take what we do seriously when we avoid going not only the extra mile but even the possibility of an extra millimeter?
How can we be really authentic if we’re not even prepared to write out your hopes, dreams and expectations by fear of getting ‘pinned down’ on it? How can you expect supervisors or headmasters to understand you and work with you if you’re afraid to give them all the information, how can they change if you’re not honest with them about what works and doesn’t work for you? How can you call a curriculum ‘new’ when it’s already in use for about fifteen years?
I think the meeting with the supervisor for me was a way to vent, and a way to let him know that I really want to change that attitude and I just don’t know how. I’ve honestly pointed out my weaknesses and my own share in the whole story. I was glad to find someone who listened and who wanted to work with me, with us.
A clean slate next school year, and finding ways to get more organized and on top of things, it will do me good. I can’t wait for this year to be over, and I can’t precisely tell why. I had the ages and subjects I wanted, which really limited preparation work. But halfway through everything I got the feeling of being lees motivated, looking less positive at things, not finding that particular connection with students… I need to regroup, get my focus right again, have some fresh blood in front of me.
Summer holiday, you’ll be so welcome…